Perfect HC pugger. Sorry guys, I don’t remember any of you. You did your job properly, maybe you made a joke halfway through and the whole run has vanished down the memory hole in the pleasantest way possible. You CC’d your mark, you healed us well, you tanked like a boss. Your DPS was high, you didn’t stand in the fire.
Everything was perfect. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and can remember you not a jot.
WOW! AN INSTANCE! pugger. These guys are great, it’s their first instance and they are like kids in a candy store. They don’t know what to do, they don’t know basic rotations, or know about aggro or boss tactics. it doesn’t matter at all because enthusiasm and joy like this everyone can remember and it’s a large part of why we still play the game. Invariably they listen and do what they are asked. Love you guys. ❤
I Just Started Playing Again For the First time Since Vanilla pugger. A memory aided verion of WOW! AN INSTANCE pugger. Love you guys as well – hey this guy is just like Drakkisath! Onyxia…does she still deep breath? I’m lost in Orgimmar after clicking the mini map, a little help? Chuckles plus nostalgia = win. Can usually play well to boot.
Oh jesus. how many of you guys are there out there?
Lets list a few –
I’m a firestander, twisted firestander pugger! Exactly what it says on the tin. You stood in the fire. Then moaned at the healer. You are an asshole.
Semi Afk robot – you might be the worst of all, yet you rarely get called on your awfulness. You are awful in a very special way – you do 75% of what a DPS/tank or healer should be doing but leave out just enough to make the group irritating. You move out of the fire..eventually..you cast sheep when you can be bothered. The heal will land just in time….mostly. You will taunt..maybe. You are on the phone, or watching TV, or performing heart surgery at John Hopkins. Three of you in a HC will mean a group that’s wiping for no discernable reason but fails anyway. Bugger off or play at the keyboard. Jesus.
Eltist supertank. You have killed bosses before the koreans took their first redbull of the night, you have seen stuff Rutger Hauer would say, “Woah!” at. Everyone else isn’t like that and you never seem to get this simple fact. Your problem isn’t that you are a technically bad player, oh no. Your problem is that you have no empathy for others who aren’t able to pull everything in the first three rooms of a heroic plus the boss like your guild Uber Alles! does and live. Which is why we are running back from the GY and you have left the group.
CAPS GUY pugger. EVERYTHING IS IN CAPS FOR NO REASON. QUITE PLEASANT REALLY EXCEPT FOR ALL THE SHOUTING. GRATS ON THE DAGGER, MATE! I SHEEP CASTER, RIGHT? LOL
Actually AFk pugger. Blizzard fixed your wagon good, so we shall say no more.
You’ve stolen my strength/parry necklace. You are usually a hunter or a ret paladin. You are the IT’S ALL MINE!!!111 pugger. You can also sod off. But, but, but you’ll say – “Every paladin uses cloth “of the whale” bracers, don’t they? Each and every rogue has a full spirit set! And you can roll need if you want to….oh I am in orgrimmar. Oh well, lets put this stuff on the AH asap and requeue.”
Everything is Easy But I Still Mysteriously Suck pugger. You and your guild did this in 1 minute. The healer should use flash heal, not rejuvenate. HAEL ME, NOW! Guys, this isn’t hard all you have to do is x* and this is cake. These guys know everything about every class but for some reason, can’t play their own. There is a smaller subset who are kindof like Elitist Supertank in that they do know what to do but just blurt it out as though reading a tactic given to you by a stranger with no credibility at all due to their own poor performance means you get 100% perfection instantly. That kind of thing. Annoyingly, they never leave.
Cheeve Pugger. He’s in full epic gear and is here only for that achieve. Your team is just about surviving trash with CC, the bosses are going down after one or two wipes and this guy wants to do the tricksy “and all her adds, backwards through lava, while juggling fish” type stuff even though it’s obvious to Ray Charles’s optician there is no chance at all. If the achieve attempt is something he can trigger even though everyone else has told him no, he will do. Then die. Then leave. Moron.
Loot Envy Pugger. You outrolled the mage on your warlock for those cloth bracers. It’s a much bigger upgrade for the mage than your lock, but upgrades are upgrades. But boy are you going to pay. Whispers, party chat sulking, CC goes missing and the eventual leaving in a huff are on the cards wth these gits.
Captain DPS Meter pugger. He’s dead. A lot. His DPS is high, his damage is low, once you spot him theres only one way to go. He wants top spot on recount, but he’s dead. The only way to get back to the top spot on recount is to blow all cooldowns next pull. So he’s dead again. Rinse, repeat until either the HC is done or he runs out of money for repairs.
Guild run of 4 and their buddy just logged before the final boss puggers. You guys know who you are, and you are assholes. Enough said.
Epic Ninja Pugger. Can be any of the other sorts of puggers but when that epic drops and 4 roll greed, a little voice tells them to roll need and leave. Love these guys, I always take their names and servers and then ask them for some money for my loss. Every day. For about a month or until they start swearing at me.
Epic Ninja Puller Pugger. 99% of the time a hunter. Has shot the first pack before you’ve zoned in and is advancing on the second, tongue stuck out to one side IRL and eyes glazed. Can pull anything except a girl.
Captain Shortcut pugger. Never tells you what he’s doing, or how to jump up the three barrels, accross the ravine and when to shimmy up the drainpipe, he’s just gone. If he’s the tank he’ll moan at you like you are his younger, slower brother or something. Best thing of all is that his shortcuts actually take longer than just doing the instance the usual way, once everyones elses deaths, running back, explanations, deaths again and further explanations are taken into account. This doesn’t dissuade him though, nothing will.
KSA is OK, I Have Gone To Pray pugger. It’s 20 minutes into a 30 minute timed run. Everything is going incredibly well and you are finally going to get the dragon/weapon/achieve you have been after for weeks. Yes! Only… the tank is in the kitchen, FDAU, pointing south, praying while the party gets murdered. Nothing against anyones religion here, ofc. Just against people who start stuff they can’t finish and then claim it’s ok due to what they have badly planned to do being more important than my time. Typical warning sign – “KSA? Henta moslem?” Once prevalent on european servers but now not so much. Presumably they are all on the Russian servers these days, making the good wowers of Vladivostock tear their hair out in frustration.
Have a good one 🙂
I’ll add more as and when Wow throws them at me.
*Where the value of x is bullshit, obviously.